Monday, February 28, 2011

Everything From Wedding Dresses to Vintage Erotica

I'm a horrible blogger. It's been a week since my update. I don't know, life is feeling pretty mediocre right now, and I'm wondering why I'm keeping up with these posts anyone. I'm tired of having no one read them.

The highlights of this week have been going out to Chilliwack to help plan Amanda's wedding. We went dress shopping, and she actually managed to pick her dress out. I think she rushed it just a little bit. There are plenty more dress shops in the world. But she does only have 5 months to get this shit done. She ended up coming away with a dress that was not at all the style I thought she was going to go for. It looks good on her though, very flattering. My ideal wedding dress would be much more... poofy. Like typical princess dress. Not like hoopskirt big, just kind of puffy and pretty.

Now I just need to find a bridesmaid dress for myself, in the colours of robin's egg blue and gold, which I think is a totally cute combination. But I'm torn: do I start looking for this dress now, or after I've lost some weight? Because I need to lose weight for this wedding. I refuse to look this hefty in my best friend's wedding pictures. I've been boxing!

And now I'm attempting to draw some turn of the century erotica. I really love this old stuff. Mostly what I think is nice about it is that the girls in the photos are always smiling, or have this kind of wistful look on their face. Modern pornography has such a harsh feel to it, and no one ever looks like they're having any fun. Sex and sex-related things are supposed to be fun! Otherwise why would we do it? Also, I like the body-types of the earlier girls, probably because they're a little closer to my own shape. They look voluptuous, and much healthier to boot.



So preeeeetty


I tried drawing one of the pictures, but I got really frustrated and upset, so I moved on to another one. I'm kind of pleased with it, but I'm lamenting the fact that I can't draw open mouthed smiles. More specifically, I can't draw teeth. I don't know why. I just always end up making them look ugly. Most discouraging.

I don't understand why drawing is so difficult. If you're drawing an image from another picture, it should just be as simple as seeing a line, copying that line and hey presto. But for some reason, it isn't, and there are things that will always elude me: teeth, feet, fingers (although I've gotten much better at them) and depth. I guess that's what class will be for.

Speaking of class, I got an email from the registrars office a week and a half ago saying that they did receive my application to the Fine Arts program, but I was missing some important documents. So, I headed on over to my Langara student account to see what was up. Under missing documents it first said "English Proficiency Req. Mandatory. Received Feb 17th, 2011." Okay, so that was in and dealt with on the day I handed in my application. Then it said "Fine arts Info Session. Mandatory. _____________." Apparently I am missing this, which is funny since I totally went to the info session on Feb 2nd, as you all may remember from my frantic post about it. So what the fuck.

I hate dealing with the registrar's office because they are sooooo slow with responding. I promptly emailed them back, and that was 11 days ago and STILL no reply. Like, I understand you're busy and all, but just answer your fucking emails.

I just want to give up on everything and go traveling with Max.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Wedding Planning

Amanda's getting married, Amanda's getting married!

My best friend from high school, got engaged on the 16th, which is actually her birthday. She texted me this information, and I was just so floored I didn't even know what to think. But that was quickly overcome by my insane excitement. Best part? I'm the Maid of Honour! I keep having to pinch myself to remind me that this is actually happening, because it just seems too fun to be real. Boy, I can only imagine how Amanda is feeling.

There's a lot of stuff to plan though. When I told Karina that I was the Maid of Honour, she laughed and said "Good luck. Being Maid of Honour sucks. You have to plan so much stuff." I am a little apprehensive about that, but if anything, I'm a great planner. My high-anxiety levels actually help me here, because they make sure that I get shit done. I'm actually going to be heading out to Chilliwack on Thursday to meet up with Amanda, shriek in girlish excitement for a bit, and then sit down and do some serious planning. I think I'm going to be heading out there at least once a month to get things in order. The wedding is going to be in July, so that only gives us 5 and a half months.

For instance, the things on the list that we need to think about are colours, guest list, flowers, invitations, decorations, dress, reception, venue, food, and hair + makeup. I'll just talk about a few things.

COLOUR: I am totally a fan of the green/coral combination, especially for summer weddings. They just look so fresh and lovely. But I also like royal blue/yellow, lavender/silver, bright pink/green, and pink/grey.

FLOWERS: We both already decided that we like peonies, but I also think Lisianthus and Stephanotis flowers are pretty. Traditional lilies and roses are always good too, but I feel that something so traditional is not what the wedding needs.

INVITATIONS: style and wording. I love it when wedding invitation say things like

Mr and Mrs John Smith
request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding of their daughter
Jenny Marie
to
Tom Thompson
on Saturday the nineteenth of July
two thousand and eleven
at half past one o'clock
at the chapel down the street
Chilliwack, British Columbia

because that just sounds nice. Also, my mum said that the classy thing to do is to address and stamp the RSVP envelops for them, so all they have to do is pop their reply in the mail.

DRESS: The most important part. We already looked at some really cute ones online. We'll look at the dress shop in town on the Thursday that I'm there, but I also suggested that she could just buy one online, because it is much cheaper that way, and then have it altered. The only problem with that though is that you can't try the dress on before you get it. But she wants a short, simple wedding dress, strapless or with broad straps.

FOOD: The most important part. The one thing that everyone goes to weddings for. The type of food all depends on the time of day though. If they have a morning wedding, then the food can be lunch-style, with soups, salads and finger foods. If it's an afternoon wedding, then you need dinner food. I think a nice lunch menu would be better, because one 1) lunch type food is always cheaper, and 2) it's lighter, so you won't feel all gross and stuffed.

It's a lot to think about. I'm going to ask for the whole wedding week off, too, because I think I'll need to be around to help get things in order.

I know I'm just going to cry like a big old baby at the ceremony, haha.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Can't Relax

I'm so worried that I won't get into this Fine Arts program. I dunno, maybe I'm just inventing reasons to be worried. I have a theory that I'm only truly comfortable when I have something to worry about. Well, maybe 'comfortable' is the wrong word. But it's like worrying reminds me of what my priorities are. Whenever I find myself relaxing, it's like I remind myself that there are things out there that need my attention, that I can't stay in dream-mode forever. It's kind of sad, yeah, because relaxing is nice, but I never let myself be relaxed for very long. And that, ladies and gentlemen, will be the cause of my inevitable heart-attack.

But in all seriousness, I keep worrying about this program. I turned in my application to the program on time, but I hadn't already re-applied to Langara yet, which is something I needed to do in order to change the name of the program that I was going to be in. BUT WHAT IF THAT MATTERS?! What if they looked at my Fine Arts program application, checked my file, and saw that I hadn't changed the program name? Ohhh dear, now I'm all worred. Let's see, the lady at the Info Session said that if I hadn't heard back from the program in 2 weeks, I should give them a call to see what's up. The info session was on the 2nd, and today's the 17th OH GOD IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS. And no email or nothing. That's it. I bet I'm not in. Did I fuck up on my application? What am I going to do for a whole year before the program starts accepting people again? I can't spend another year not doing something. I feel like I'm going stir-crazy.

If I don't get into this program, I'm just going to say "fuck everything" and spend all my money on traveling and tattoos. That is my plan for real. I'm just going to go and see places. Anywhere, from Seattle to Spain, Idaho to Italy, California to the Czech Republic. I'll just draw and get tattoos and travel. Hmm, why am I imagining myself in a long, grey coat, skinny and smoking with a bored look on my face while at a train station? I watch way too many old movies.

This week, I am going to make a coconut cream pie if it kills me. I miss baking to much, and I promised my dad around Christmas that I would make him one. I was going to try and bake something for Valentine's Day, but I slept in, haha. Oh, speaking of Valentines Day, I had a very nice one. I'm not big on the whole tradition, although the idea that it's a day for love is nice, even though the guy it's named for didn't have a lovely ending. It's just all the commercialism that kills me. Now, don't confuse me for a dirty hipster, because hipster I most definitely am not. I just think it's dumb that people spend so much money on it. Like all the commericals are telling you to "Buy your boyfriend a phone! Buy your girlfriend diamonds!" Really, you guys? This is not Christmas.

I actually worked on Valentine's Day, which was only a drag because I ended up having a pretty crummy day. I won't even get into that. Anyway, Max and I had agreed to meet up the next day to just hang around. I made him a card, which was the card the Lisa gave Ralph in that one episode of The Simpsons (I choo-choo-choose you!) and he loved it. He bought us Season 2 of 30 Rock, which was fantastic. I fell asleep waiting for him to get out of class, and then we went and had dinner at Bau Chau. Then we went to his house and watched our new 30 Rock DVD's, and I slept over. It was a pretty swell day.

Haha, just remembering our first Valentine's ever. We'd been officially dating for 2 and a half weeks. He met me at school and gave me a stuffed pink elephant and a comic book. I was so overwhelmed with how awesome it was that I teared up. Oh, silly 16 year old Lisa. I don't need anything though, except maybe a bouquet of rose's would be nice (HINT HINT). Hahaha, oh Max, don't worry, I'm just teasing.

Well, I'm going to go sleep off this anxiety now, so goodnight, and good dreams.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

I'm Feeling Punch-tastic Tonight

You know what I love? When people try and force me to care about something. No, really, I love it. I love it almost as much as I love sarcasm.

An old friend of mine (or a new ex-friend of mine) started talking to me on Facebook. He was always really weird, which is normally okay, but it was that special brand of weird that inevitably makes a person really, really annoying. So, I knew I was in store for something annoying, but I what?

Marc: Hey
Me: Oh, hey man.
Marc: Are you at all interested in politics and reform for education in Vancouver?
Right then, I knew exactly what kind of annoying this was going to be. Angry stoner annoying. That I-just-read-a-mini-article-about-it-in-the-Metro-and-now-I'm-full-of-rage-GOD-why-don't-they-just-make-Marc-Emery-Premier-of-BC? kind of annoying.

Me: Um, not overwhelmingly so, no.
Marc: Really. You enjoy the ridiculous amount of money you have to spend on schooling, as well as the fact that we live in one of the most expensiveness places to live yet the minimum wage is going down so people can't even afford to live in Vancouver.
Me: Oh yeah, I fucking love it. It's the reason I wake up in the morning.

I'm obviously joking, right? Like, no shit? Anybody could see that? Well, apparently not Marc, because I evidently hurt his feelings.

Marc: Don't have to be rude about it.
Me: I wasn't. It's called 'joking'.
Marc: Yeah, well, it's rude. Enjoy yourself.
Me: I will, thanks. I felt you were being rude, actually. Night.

But no. He couldn't just drop it.

Marc: I was not. I was trying to give you a reason to care for your own future.
Me: Okay. I do care about my future. I just haven't ever given much serious thought to reform of the education system.
Marc: That's the problem, youth don't care or think about it because it's not shoved into your face such as ads and instant stimuli to your brain to keep your attention so you don't give any serious thought into it.

I got pretty bored, so I stopped replying.

Ass. You think I don't worry about my future? You don't think I worry about my future all the time? Everyone one worries about their future. Don't shove your self-righteous hippie rants down my throat, because if there's one thing I love even more than sarcasm, it's fucking with people. Haha, aren't I a ray of sunshine! Life needs more punches.

What's the happs? Working, days off, friends back in town, other friend drama... it's all good times. I've been thinking about getting my webcomic off the ground again...

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Requiescat In Pace

One of my favourite authors died on the 5th (which, coincidentally, was the date of my last post. I feel bad now). Brian Jacques wrote this amazing series called Redwall, that had a total of 22 books in it. I was in love with the series through grades 6 and 7, when I read them obsessively. I think they're one of the reasons I have such a vast, healthy imagination today. My mum read them just as much as I did, too. I can't remember if I was the one who introduced them to her, or vice versa. Point is, it's an amazing series that everyone should give a chance. Also, according to Wikipedia, there are at least 5 books that came out since I stopped reading the series. Time to head over to the ol' Burnaby Public Library and get a library card.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Want to hear the best shit ever?

So, I just got a phone call from my mum. Like, I literally got off the phone with her 5 minutes ago. She called, and said "Lisa, I have a cheque here for you from the government." I'd been waiting for my Tax Return for awhile, and was getting a little worried about it. When I'd sat down with my mum a couple of months ago and did my taxes, we'd calculated that I would be getting a lot back. She told me not to get too excited though, because sometimes for blah blah blah reasons, people didn't get the full amount calculated. I didn't really care, because any money is good money. But tonight, she said "Are you sitting down?"

So, guess how much the Government of Canada is bequeathing me with?

$1248.33

I literally couldn't even speak. We'd calculated about that much, and I was hoping, hoping that I would be getting that amount back. I didn't quite. They took off about $2 in interest because I'd sent them in late. But just... oh my god. 2 hours ago, I was upset because I needed a new pair of shoes, and some new bras, but I knew I could only afford one or the other this month. It's just so funny. I need to take two Art History classes this summer, which was going to amount to about $900 after textbooks, so I was going to work like mad to make the money for them. I'm still going to work like mad, but I just feel like such a load has been taken off my mind. I can pay for these summer classes no problem. I also get my paycheque from work tomorrow, which I'm estimating to be well over $600. So tomorrow after work, I am taking that cheque, going to my mum's house and grabbing the other cheque, going to the bank by my house and depositing around $1500 into my Savings.

I know it's considered crass to talk about money, but fuck it. This is the fucking best news. Now, all I have to do is win the lottery...

Ah, I forgot about poor old Brian Jacques in all my excitement. I think I am going to task myself with re-reading the entire series, in his memory. Haha, my favourite part about those stories was that every one included this amazingly detailed feast, that I would seriously drool over. There ain't no feast like a Redwall feast, bitches.

Requiescat in pace, Brian Jacques.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

First Impressions

People seem to have some pretty strange ideas about me. The other day, two boys at work were talking about rolling joints, and I was kind of laughing along. One of the boys asked "Oh, do you smoke?" I said I didn't, and he looked surprised. "You just look the type." The type? "Yeah, like, the hippie-type." I let him leave with his life. Me, a hippie? Ugh, god no.

Today, a different boy asked if I had been to one of the girl's birthday party last night at Joseph Richards. I said that I didn't go to clubs. He laughed and said "Oh, do you go to dinner parties then?" (cheeky bastard). I said I just didn't go out. Again, incredulity. "You seem like a partier!" Honestly? What do they all think of me?

Alright you guys, assignment. I know there aren't many of you who read this, but I want you to tell me what your first impression of me was. I'd just like to know, for the sake of curiosity, how other people view me.

Short entry today. I am currently sick as a dog and contemplating a nap. Armed with creme caramel tea, blood oranges and grapes, I will cure myself.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Say Huh?

I just got back from the info session for the Langara Fine Arts program. The woman who appears to be one of the main teachers is a nice, older Scottish woman, and I liked her right off the bat. There were a lot of other people there, but only one or two of them were boys. Max called it a "yam party" I think. I was confused, but he said that a yam party is the opposite of a sausage fest. I've never personally heard vagina's referred to as yams, but I suppose you learn something new every day.

So we were given a whole bunch of multi-coloured papers with pretty much everything we need to know on them, and then listened to the Scottish woman talk for an hour. It sounds like a really interesting program, with cool classes.

And obviously, I'm going to be a big douche about all this.

First off, I was so anxious for the whole hour that I gave myself a worry-headache. This happens when you are so tense and upset that you actually give yourself a headache. I was wringing my hands, biting my lips, scratching myself, you name it. I know. What the fuck is wrong with me? I was literally on the verge of tears at least three times. But why?! What is my problem?

It's mostly because I was experiencing my most crippling problem: my lack of attention span. Seriously, I don't know why this happens, but I can't focus for long on things when people are speaking directly to you. I can listen to 3 straight episodes of Radiolab, but for the life of me, I can't make myself pay attention to important things. It's been a problem since I was about 8. It's awful. I was reminded of all my high school math classes, where I would finally go and ask the teacher for help, only to sit there and not absorb a word as they talked, and then go back and sit at my desk like a useless lump, fighting back tears. I know what you're thinking. Just pay attention! Just listen! But I can't, I don't know why! I do try, really hard.

And I'm worried that this means I'm going to turn my back on writing. I love writing. I love art too, and I love doodling and I would love to make my own comics and graphic novels one day. I just... Ugh, listen to me. I KNOW I can combine the two, and I could write in my spare time. And I want to combine writing and art anyway, so what's the problem? I'm a loser, that's what the problem is.

Ooookay, calming down. This won't be so bad. Sure, the tuition is a hellish $2,800 a semester, but I can do it. The program doesn't start until September, and that's plenty of time to save. I'll have to get student loans anyway, but that's not so bad. This is all going to be okay. I just need to keep calm and carry on.

The program itself does sound cool, though. In the first year, Drawing and Design are the Core Studios, and you have to take one each term. Then there's Painting and Printmaking (the 2D studios), and Sculpture and Ceramics (the 3D studios), and I have to take one of those 4 each term. Then in second year, I... Okay, I'm just going to write down what's on the piece of paper, because I don't really know how to explain it:

ALL SECOND YEAR STUDIOS ARE ELECTIVES: STUDENTS MUST COMPLETE A MINIMUM OF 3 STUDIOS EACH TERM (PLUS 2 ACADEMIC SUPPORT COURSES), OR 4 STUDIOS EACH TERM (PLUS 1 ACADEMIC SUPPORT COURSE) IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE THE FINE ARTS DIPLOMA.
Say huh?

Anyway, it's getting late and I'm trying to figure out this application questionnaire, so I bid you all adieu. But before I go, I want to say thank you to all my friends. I forget that you're out there most of them time, but you've never been anything but supportive to me. Thanks.

Old Words and To Do's

I just found a treasure! I was looking for some of my college English notebooks, to help Max figure out how to write a thesis for an essay, and I found my old Creative Writing notebook from Grade 12. It's full of some pretty great writing exercises that I should try out, too.

Most of the stories aren't that bad either, though I didn't remember anything about them as I was reading them. Also, some silly poems I wrote as a teenager:

She Misses His Kisses

My lips have been cut by your words and your kisses;
Now I'm counting the score, all our hits and your misses.
How long have I suffered? How long have I dreamt
Of the old times, the good times
When you'd whisper and tempt?

Ohhh dear, Teenage Lisa. What's the matter with you? Actually, I've always liked that poem. I wanted to polish it up a bit, but I want to always be able to admire it in it's natural state. Note: please do not judge my writing abilities by these old examples. I have gotten much better.

I was just lamenting the fact that I don't write half as much as I used to, but hell, why can't I? I SHOULD write more, just for the heck of it. Maybe I'll even publish something one day.

Haha, oh dear, read this:

Fingers Crossed

I am wishful thinking
fingers crossed
all the lyrics you ever forgot
the final attempt
last chance, hold you breath
cross your heart, hope to death
Jesus. Emo attack or what? Naw, I still like this one too. I don't think I was trying to be particularly emo with this one, actually. I just liked the combination of the words.

In my last post, I was going to write a list of things that I want to accomplish in my life. This list does not have a time-limit on it.

  • publish something, be it short story, graphic novel or poem
  • learn at least 2 more musical instruments
  • sing in front of an audience
  • play in a band with my trombone again
  • participate in a poetry slam
  • lose at least 20lbs
  • more tattoos!
Hm, that's all for now, but worthy goals. I didn't want to include anything over the top like "learn a Latin!" or "travel the whole world!" because I wanted this to be an list of easily obtainable goals that won't make me hate myself if I don't complete them. Actually, I will still hate my self if I don't finish this list. Wait, shit, I already hate myself.

Oh dear.